Tag: emotions

Understanding and Disagreeing

April 16, 2023 Published by

It’s common to think that understanding and agreement are the same thing, but they are actually two distinct concepts. Understanding someone means that you can grasp their perspective and see things from their point of view, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them. Agreement, on the other hand, implies that you share the same opinions, beliefs, or values as the other person.

To overcome the idea that someone has to agree with you to understand you, it’s important to recognize that people can have different perspectives, experiences, and values that shape their beliefs and opinions. It’s possible for two people to understand each other’s perspectives without necessarily agreeing with each other.

Here are some tips that can help you overcome this thinking pattern:

1. Practice active listening: When you’re having a conversation with someone, make an effort to listen to their perspective without interrupting or judging them. Try to understand their point of view and ask questions to clarify their thoughts.

2. Be open-minded: Keep an open mind and try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Acknowledge that their experiences and values may be different from yours and that this can influence their opinions and beliefs.

3. Focus on understanding, not winning: When you’re having a conversation, focus on understanding the other person’s perspective rather than trying to convince them to agree with you. This can help create a more productive and respectful conversation.

4. Respect differences: Recognize that people can have different opinions and that this is okay. Respect the other person’s right to their own beliefs and don’t try to force them to agree with you.

Remember, understanding someone does not require agreement. By practicing active listening, being open-minded, focusing on understanding, and respecting differences, you can learn to appreciate and respect different perspectives, even if you don’t agree with them.

Dealing with Triggers: Personal journey and helping another with their triggers

March 24, 2023 (updated March 24, 2023) Published by
Being triggered

The suppression of emotions is a common practice among men in our society, and unfortunately, it doesn’t work. Men often suppress their emotions, leading to a build-up of feelings that can cause them to explode like a volcano when triggered by something. Being triggered means experiencing an intense emotional response to a situation, sound, or memory, often leading to an overreaction that may not be proportionate to the situation.

Explosion

Recognizing the trigger is the first step in dealing with it. It is essential to take a step back, take a deep breath, and assess the situation to determine if your reaction is proportionate. Sometimes triggers occur when there is no human interaction, such as listening to a song or hearing a sound. Once you recognize that it is indeed a trigger, it is up to you to go inward and find the source of the emotion.

Identifying the root cause of the trigger can be difficult but is crucial for healing. It could be a bad experience from childhood or an unpleasant experience as an adult. We can’t change the past, but we can acknowledge the source of the pain and forgive ourselves. Acknowledging that people do the best they can with what they have at the time can help alleviate some of the anger.

Punished child

Dealing with triggers is a process that requires patience and practice. Every time you are triggered, stop, take a breath, assess, and talk about it calmly if you can. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, try engaging in physical activity, breathing exercises, or listening to music. Journaling also helps get to the root cause.

If you’re a friend or family member of a triggered person, it’s essential to recognize when someone is triggered. Sometimes, their reactions may seem out of proportion to the situation. If they’re angry, it’s crucial to protect yourself first, but if you’re safe, try to hold space for them. Let them vent and express their emotions safely. Assure them that they’re valid, safe, and accepted.

Comforting a friend

Recognize, Reconcile, and Reactivate are the three steps to overcoming being triggered. Recognize the trigger, Reconcile with the past, and Reactivate your life with newfound wisdom. Healing from triggers is a journey, but the ultimate goal is not to be triggered anymore.

Freedom from triggers

In conclusion, dealing with triggers is a process that requires self-awareness, patience, and practice. Recognizing the trigger and its root cause is crucial for healing. If you’re a friend or family member of a triggered person, holding space for them and assuring them of their safety and validity can be helpful. The journey to healing is not easy, but with time, patience, and practice, it is possible to overcome triggers and live a life free of emotional turmoil.

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